


I'll Be By Your Side

by saranghandei



Category: Golden Child (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Dongchan, Friendship, Great Love, Heavy Angst, M/M, Resurrection, bongbeom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-22 21:43:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23000875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saranghandei/pseuds/saranghandei
Summary: i miss bongbeom but i always end up hurting them. im sorry T^T
Relationships: Bong Jaehyun/Kim Jibeom
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	I'll Be By Your Side

_"Close your eyes and count to three,_   
_Whisper thy wish and let it be_   
_Reach the heavens up above_   
_Fill your heart with the deepest love..."_

Jaehyun's breathing was slowly fading. His eyelashes weakly fluttering and tears escaping from his weary eyes. His smile was sad but Jibeom thought it was still the most beautiful just as how it was always been. With cold and shaky hands, Jaehyun reached for his oxygen mask and slid it under his chin. Jibeom who was closing his eyes failed to see it. His school uniform stained with blood and his hair wet from the sweats. He was too afraid to open his eyes and witnessed Jaehyun dying in front of him.

"D-don't die on me, p-please Jaehyun don't die on me..." Jibeom gripped the side of the bed with his wounded knuckles. He prayed so hard they would arrive at the hospital soon and get Jaehyun treated.

"J-Jibeom, i-it's o-okay..." Jaehyun uttered those words but his body failed him, it was too hard to talk, too difficult to even prevent the blood from going out his mouth. Once he spat blood, he knew it's the end. He wanted to hold on a bit, he had to, but his body was gradually giving up. The more he used strength, the painful his stab wound hurt.

"L-look at me, look at m-me, Jibeom-ah..." he put a hand at the top of Jibeom's.

The other boy obeyed. His friend didn't look good. He was pale and his eyebrows furrowed. His beautiful face scrunched up in pain and it broke Jibeom, shattering his heart into tiny pieces. His eyes bulged out the moment Jaehyun coughed blood it went all over his white shirt, adding a strong red color, staining his lips and lower face.

"Oh my god please hurry up! We have to bring him quickly to the hospital! Please..." Jibeom shook the nurse. His tears and sweats mixed up and his eyes puffy from too much crying. He sought help but all he got was a defeated expression from the nurse, silently telling him, 'it's too late'.

"No, no, no..." Jibeom shook his head in denial turning to his friend and hugging the other boy tight. "Please don't do this to me... Jaehyun, you can't do this to me..." he pulled back and cupped the other male's face, "A-aren't we graduating together? It's our last year," Jibeom forced a smile. "J-Jaehyun we still have to discover our stars and name them, remember? Y-you even promised to bring me to Utopia, I don't know where that is so you have to be here... We still have a lot of things to do together... Please..."

Jaehyun smiled despite the pain, it was still funny when Jibeom pronounced the place. He wished he could still be there to correct it for him. "Utopia," Jaehyun whispered. A place where everything is perfect; a paradise. His lips twitched up to another smile. It was the last thing he could give to compensate for all the broken promises. "I will... definitely... be... with you... no matter what..." Jaehyun held Jibeom's hand and let it touched his cheeks, "Just like... Just like two stars... bound together... by gravity..."

Jibeom pressed his forehead against his dying friend. "How will I believe that, Jaehyun-ah... What should I do with you gone..."

Jibeom dragged his head down carefully and rested against Jaehyun's chest, listening to his faint heartbeat. It was beating so slowly as if whispering to him that everything's going to be alright. Coaxing him to go to sleep and forget all the bad memories. Jaehyun's heart was whispering his deepest secret.

Jaehyun gasped the air for one last time, tasting the bitter taste of the living world, inhaling the minty scent of Jibeom's hair.

"Jibeom, I love..." 

And Jibeom never heard the next word.

"At least complete the sentence, you cheater." 

The beating stopped followed by a deafening silence that took Jibeom to a dark, lonely world. 

-

Jibeom thought Jaehyun was too beautiful and the world didn't deserve him. He was an angel. He always put others first- Jibeom hated him so much for that. He always wore a smile on his face- Jibeom loved that part of him so much that for once, he wanted to tattoo it on his forehead. Jaehyun would always the one who would say sorry when their interest didn't match and Jibeom felt he'd been so wrong in his life. He wasn't able to apologize for his mistakes because Jaehyun was always so welcoming; accepting Jibeom with all his flaws. Jibeom felt loved.

A soft touch caressed Jibeom's hand. His mother was smiling warmly at him, "Jibeom, you did so well. Because of you, the police successfully arrested the gang who attacked you and Jaehyun." His mom pulled him to an embrace and stroked the back of his head. "Mom is so proud of you. I am... I am so happy I could still feel you like this..."

But Jibeom felt the opposite. "I was such a bad friend. I couldn't even protect myself and Jaehyun... He was-"

"Shh... I'm sure Jaehyun was happy he could save you." Jibeom faced his mother with tears streaming down his face. "He was your angel Jibeom and I believe he's just around you. If you feel lonely, just close your eyes and feel him. He's gone in sight, but never here." His mom touched his chest to where his heart was painfully weeping. "Cry for now but not too long, son. You still have a life to live just like Jaehyun wanted."

Amid the wave of doubts and wistful melancholy, Jibeom closed his eyes, letting all his thoughts go. His mother was right because the moment he did it, he could feel a warm embrace and Jaehyun's scent filling his nose deep down to his soul. He's alive. Somewhere. 

-

A year, 3 years, 5, a decade had passed and Jibeom found himself sighing in his loud classroom. 

"Please everyone, group yourselves into two before we head out. Remember, your partner is your other star and you have to be connected no matter what." Jibeom pushed back his round eyeglasses falling at the tip of his nose. "Tonight, we will witness a meteorite that falls once every ten years."

"Teacher Kim, does that grant wishes?" a student named Hong Joochan with his hopeful eyes, asked.

"What are you saying, Hong? You're embarrassing me..." whispered his partner, Kim Donghyun, who obviously looked unhappy.

"What? There's no harm in asking... And why would you get embarrassed I was the one asking," retorted Joochan while rolling his eyes.

"Because we're partners," glared Donghyun.

"Alright, alright. Calm down, both of you," Jibeom raised his hands after seeing the childish bickering unfold before him. "Hong Joochan, I didn't know that a 17-year-old would still believe in stars and wishes..."Jibeom tilted his head in a teasing manner, "and Kim Donghyun, take good care of your partner, hm? I don't want you to get in trouble at the observatory. And to answer Joochan's question," the teacher tapped his chin with his index finger, "Let's see about that tonight," he winked and the whole class burst in laughter at his failed attempt. Jibeom clapped his hands out of embarrassment and to signal their leave. He knew too well he couldn't wink but what's gotten in his mind to even try. No matter what it was, Jibeom embarrassed himself enough.

While on their way to the observatory, inside the bus, Jibeom sat near the window, watching the cherry blossoms taken away by the wind painting the ground with colors of pink and white. Spring, at this time of the year where his special person was taken away from him. Every spring had passed by leaving a wound that would never heal. A meteorite that falls once in a decade, grants wish to those hearts who solemnly asked for a miracle. Jibeom waited for so long. He had been looking for Utopia and he hoped he will find it tonight. 

-

_"Jibeom-ah, did you know that our star signs aren't compatible compared to any stars? We may find issues while connecting to each other and will somehow end up in an argument. Not suitable for each other, shouldn't be together," Jaehyun dropped his body next to Jibeom who was lying flat on his stomach on Jaehyun's bed. He was gaming on his phone but he heard his best friend well._

_"Tsk, I don't believe in such," Jibeom simply answered._

_Jaehyun said nothing and closed the book he was reading; an astronomical book. Jibeom continued his thing but glancing at Jaehyun to check if his friend was disappointed. He could see Jaehyun stared at the ceiling and sighed. Jibeom turned off his phone._

_"Fine. So what about it?" he turned his body to face the other boy, "It's just star signs Jaehyun and see? We don't have problems understanding each other," Jibeom sat and held his friend's arms forcing him to face his direction._

_"It's because I always gave in to you..." Jaehyun squinted his eyes and pouted. Jibeom was offended because he also gave in to Jaehyun like not eating his favorite sushi just because Jaehyun never liked the smell of the sea, studying for hours instead of having fun just because his friend was a nerd, and waking up early just to fall in line at Jaehyun's favorite bakery. But he couldn't deny the fact that throughout their friendship, it was always Jaehyun who would bow down in resignation._

_Jibeom carefully studied Jaehyun's face and he would never understand the latter's belief in magical forms. "Jaehyun-ah?" Jaehyun's brows knitted to a frown. Jibeom smiled at his cuteness, "Stop worrying about that compatibility stuff because we are going to find our own stars and named them ourselves. Forget about Aquarius and Capricorn!"_

_Jaehyun's face lit up in an instant of the idea and he mirrored Jibeom's expression; brighter, and more beautiful, "Two stars that will always stick to each other, Bong Jaehyun and Kim Jibeom," Jaehyun lips twisted up._

_Making Jaehyun happy became Jibeom's favorite chore; an honor, an obligation. And by that, he learned how to compromise and loved the things Jaehyun adored. He started to see the beauty of constellation and slowly understood his best friend. But Jaehyun was a weird person. He did things out of Jibeom's comprehension and say absurd statements Jibeom never liked._

_One spring and windy night, Jaehyun woke him up in the middle of the night during their out of school camp. He wanted to stargazed and Jibeom was a slave albeit hesitant, he went for it._

_They were lying on their backs, side by side, arms folded as a pillow. There were too many stars in the sky that they never had witnessed in the heart of the busy city._

_"They're beautiful," commented Jibeom whose eyes twinkled as he stared at the vast sky._

_"I told you. They are always beautiful Jibeom-ah. Oh! A shooting star! Make a wish!" Jaehyun elbowed the other boy before closing his eyes and clasped both hands together. Jibeom followed him but failed to make his wish. It was too sudden. Instead of drowning his eyes in the beauty up above, his attention was grabbed at the beauty on his side. Long eyelashes, pointed nose, plump lips moving subtly as he mouthed his wish, Jibeom caught himself daydreaming._

_"What did you wish?" Jaehyun sat back up and turned his head to look at Jibeom._

_Startled, "Uhmm... You go first!" Jibeom slowly got up, scratching the tip of his nose out of embarrassment._

_Jaehyun looked at him suspiciously and Jibeom was thankful when Jaehyun suddenly giggled. "Alright! I wished to the star that if tomorrow is my last day on Earth, I want to be reborn as Bong Jaehyun in this same lifeline and find you again."_

_Jibeom was appalled. His hands turned sweaty although the night breeze was cold. Not liking the words that came out from Jaehyun's mouth, he stood up abruptly and dusted the grass on his pants. "Get up," he commanded firmly._

  
_The latter got confused but slowly stood up sensing the bad atmosphere. "Jibeom, are you okay?" he asked softly._

_Jibeom sighed in dismay, "You always say non-sense, Jaehyun. Made me wonder if you're really a genius or plain stupid. Why would you say those things? And who's dying?" Jibeom turned his back to bent down and folded the blanket they used. "Let's go back before the teachers find out we sneaked out." He tugged Jaehyun's hand, following him silently._

_"Older people say be careful of what you wish for, you might just get it. So please stop saying weird things," Jibeom continued nagging still holding Jaehyun's hand. He heard no response and he knew Jaehyun was sad but Jibeom was more than upset._

_"Promise me you won't do it again," he halted his steps and faced his best friend. Determination was in his eyes and Jaehyun looked at him sheepishly._

_Jaehyun nodded._

_"I can't hear you."_

_"I promise," Jaehyun said louder._

_Jibeom finally smiled and ruffled Jaehyun's hair. This silly friend who always believed in stars._

-

Jibeom thought it was foolish back then but here he was, staring at the dark night sky, waiting for the meteor shower and the mighty meteorite to grant his wish. To listen to his heart desire for one last time. Everyone picked their own spot with their telescope. Jibeom saw Joochan and Donghyun sitting peacefully at the corner. He could hear Joochan still talking about his wish but his partner was miraculously nodding his head in agreement- or he just didn't want to argue. Joochan reminded him of his lost friend, the main character of his wish. And he was slightly Donghyun, the annoyed one. 

3, 2, 1! They counted down altogether. The empty sky a second earlier was now filled with shiny silvery showers, from time to time showing themselves giving the audience a show they will never forget. Jibeom took his telescope and witnessed how the stars aesthetically painted the once dark airspace. It was too beautiful, too enthralling and Jibeom didn't notice the warm droplets of water escaped the corner of his eyes. It felt warm and nostalgic. 

He closed his eyes. "Just once. Let me see him, one more time." Like a prayer, Jibeom chanted his wish pouring all his heart out for that single wish.

"Close your eyes and count to three,  
Whisper thy wish and let it be  
Reach the heavens up above  
Fill your heart with the deepest love..."

"Let me hear his voice one more time. Let me feel his warmth, let me see his face again." Jibeom shut his eyes tight, longingness overflowed his body. "He wished to be reborn in this world please grant his wish too." 

He might have been too engrossed in his own desire that he failed to notice the meteor shower was over. He felt two taps on his shoulder, but Jibeom was too afraid to open his eyes. His wish didn't come true. He knew it was Joochan or Donghyun. Another tap and Jibeom surrendered. 

"That's my telescope," said the person who tapped him.

Jibeom subtly swiped his finger to wipe his tears, he looked awkward and pathetic.

"Are you done using it?" a husky low-toned voice perked Jibeom's ears up. 

This voice. 

"Teacher Kim! Teacher Kim! Joochan fainted!" 

Donghyun's face was filled with horror and his small eyes forcefully opened. His hands were cold and he gripped the teacher's hand and dragged him to where Joochan was lying. The boy was pale and it triggered Jibeom's memory. Without further thinking, Jibeom reached out his hand to carry Joochan to the clinic but a man with a brown hairy coat beat him to it. 

"I am the nurse here, excuse me." He scooped Joochan as if he weighed nothing.

It was the owner of the telescope. Jibeom told Donghyun to follow the nurse as he put the others at ease. He was dying to know and see the man's face which he failed to take a glance because Donghyun was panicking. The moment he finished gathering the students in one place he set off to see Joochan and more importantly that piqued his curiosity was the man with a familiar voice. 

Jibeom carefully entered the room and saw Donghyun and his worried face looking at the sleeping Joochan. He looked around and his heart started to thump for no reason. Or for a reason he knew but he didn't want to raise his hopes up. 

"I think he fainted due to extreme fatigue." 

There went the voice again. Jibeom was sure he heard it before. He turned his heels to the direction of the speaking voice and he almost lost his balance upon reading the nurse's tag pinned on his dark brown sweater. His mouth gaped once the man came to light and exposed himself in full. 

A small-faced, puppy-like visual with two round doe eyes, slimmer cheeks, and pointed nose, shoulder-length hair messily tied at the back with few bangs falling on the side of his face. He looked ethereal like a fallen angel but why did he look like someone whom Jibeom missed the most? The person standing in front of Jibeom mirrored his lost star but more mature and prettier. 

And his name was prettily engraved on the gold metal tag.

"Bong Jaehyun," Jibeom read it. 

Bong Jaehyun smiled, "Yes, that's me. The nurse and the owner of the telescope." 

"B-but h-how?" Jibeom scans the other male from head to foot and vice versa. "It's i-impossible..." 

The nurse tilted his head in confusion, "Sorry? What do you mean?" 

Jibeom must be dreaming. Jaehyun standing in front of him was surreal and it horrified him. How can Jaehyun be standing in front of him alive and in the flesh when Jibeom saw it with his own two eyes, 10 years ago, he died. He must've gone crazy. He remembered his wish but was it really true? A dream or not, Jibeom was torn between to pinch himself to find out. If it's only a dream, he'll wake up to the world with no Jaehyun. If he continued to dream, will it be okay? He would still wake up soon. 

With mixed emotions, Jibeom did what his heart told him. He marched forward and without hesitation pulled Bong Jaehyun in his arms. He smelled the same! Jibeom tightened the hug and the warmth was definitely Jaehyun's. He missed him so much. "I miss you so much, Jaehyun..." 

The nurse stood still looking clueless at what was going on. He lifted his left hand and mindlessly, patted Jibeom at the back. After a one long minute, Jibeom pulled away. 

"You really must've missed him a lot. I know exactly how that feels. It's suffocating and painful," he flashed his signature kind smile but his eyes were weary. "But I am not him, I'm sorry. You got the wrong person. But I hope you'll find him soon." 

It made no sense to Jibeom. For him, he was Jaehyun, Bong Jaehyun, his lost star. But apart of him was telling himself that maybe he's just tired and every single thing reminded him of Jaehyun. Amidst his conflicting mind, Donghyun interrupted. The student witnessed everything but he wasn't sure how to react. 

"Uhmm... I'm sorry but what will happen to Joochan?"

Jibeom only stared at the nurse's face while the man averted his gaze and walked to Donghyun. 

"He'll wake up soon. Don't worry. Your friend must be really tired even before he came here. I saw him earlier this afternoon, he looked pale," stated the nurse while taking a seat across Donghyun. 

"So you mean even before the meteor shower you were here?" Jibeom's eyebrows furrowed while he asked. 

Jaehyun nodded, "I even saw you guys arrived at the lobby. I am a resident nurse here. I've been working here for almost 5 years." 

It started to come down Jibeom that he just embarrassed himself twice this day. His heart was pounding again but as he stared at the poor boy on the bed, he felt guilty. He was responsible for him but Jibeom failed his job more so shamed himself just because he prioritized his desire.

They sat silently while waiting for Joochan to open his eyes again. Bong Jaehyun went back to his seat while Jibeom absent-mindedly scanned his phone to divert his attention. Not long when they heard Joochan grunted. 

"He's awake!" Donghyun announced a little louder than intended. "How are you feeling, Hong?" 

Joochan smiled opposite to his completely knocked-out face, "I feel much better now." 

Jibeom tapped Joochan's knee twice, "You scared us there. And you scared this little guy here too," he then put an arm around Donghyun. The other boy was too worried he let the teacher's teasing passed. 

"I know, Teacher Kim. He always acts as if he hates me but the truth is that he really cares for me," Joochan playfully commented. 

"Really Hong Joochan? I was worried because we might not be able to finish our task but nevermind. I'll do it on my own. Just... take a good rest." Donghyun left without giving Joochan a chance to tease him again. The adults laugh adorably at the high schoolers. Jibeom felt proud of his students but he wanted to knocked a sense of them sometimes. 

"Get a lot of rest at home and make sure you take care of yourself. You are still very young so enjoy all the time in the world. Getting sick sucks," Bong Jaehyun spoke first after the laughter died down. He picked something out of his pocket and it was a small paper which he handed to Jibeom. Jibeom was smart enough to notice that something important was written in there so he pocketed it before the nosy Joochan saw it. 

"Come on, Joochan. Your classmates are waiting for you," Jibeom extended his hand to help Joochan get up. "Don't worry about your assignment with Donghyun. I'll give you guys extended due date so rest well for tonight." 

Joochan replied with a wide grin and bade goodbye to the kind nurse. Before Jibeom closed the door, he took a brief look at the nurse who looked exactly the same as Jaehyun. 

-

Jibeom felt his lungs knocked out from all the running he did just to get home as quickly as possible. He tripped his toe at the door which grabbed his mother's attention. 

"Jibeom-ah, be careful! Why are you in a hurry?" 

"Later mom!" he shouted back as he dashed to his room. 

The first thing he did was open his drawer where he hid all the items that reminded him of Jaehyun. His books, his gifts to Jibeom and their photos together. He took everything out of the box and looked thoroughly although he didn't really know what exactly he was searching for. Just anything that can set his heart at ease. His gaze anchored at the picture frame lying on the floor. He picked it up and Jibeom almost dropped it in horror the moment he looked at it. 

"No way..." 

He scanned their yearbook quickly and to double his surprise, Jaehyun wasn't there. Not a single photo of him was there. The picture frame supposedly was Jibeom and Jaehyun proudly holding their football jerseys turned out to be only Jibeom and a huge space on his side. He scanned for more photos and he couldn't see Jaehyun anywhere. Tears brimmed his eyes as he shook his head and the last straw was drawn when he found Jaehyun's jersey without his name on it. "No, no, no.no..." 

"Jibeom-ah..." his mother peeked in his bedroom. She looked anxious as he approached his son bawling his eyes out, sitting on the floor. 

"M-mom... J-Jaehyun is... Mom, where did Jaehyun go?" he spoke between his hiccups. 

His mom sat near him and placed a hand on his back, "Son, who is Jaehyun?" 

Jibeom felt his lips quivered and his body hair stood at his mom's question. 

"Tell me... Who is Jaehyun and why are you looking for him through your stuff? Your old stuff..." 

Jibeom stopped crying at once and steadied his breathing before he spoke, "Mom... C-can you... Can you slap me? Slap me hard on the face..." 

"Jibeom-ah, what are you talking about?" his mother gasped. 

"Mom, please! I need this to stop! Just slap me, please..." 

His mother sensed something was really wrong with his son but Jibeom was determined. Forget about the wish, forget about the Jaehyun he saw earlier. The moment his memories with Jaehyun get erases was his true death and Jibeom would not want it. He only needed the old Jaehyun and he should be here in all the pictures they've taken together. He should be alive somewhere out of sight.

The next thing Jibeom felt was a stinging pain on his left cheek. He carefully looked through the photos again but saw no Jaehyun. Something was really not right. 

-

Fortunately, it was Saturday and Jibeom was walking towards his destination. He tucked his hands inside the jacket and one hand was playing with the paper the nurse gave him last night. 

_La Cafe , 9 A.M. tomorrow._

He doesn't know why Bong Jaehyun wanted to meet him. Jibeom needed an answer and he's willing to do everything in exchange for enlightenment. As he's getting nearer, the more his heart drummed his chest. He's seeing Jaehyun, although not completely the Jaehyun he knew, he's like the future version Jibeom failed to see because he went away first. 

Jibeom entered the cafe and right away he saw Jaehyun waving at him on the second floor. Maybe the room was quite dim last night because the Jaehyun he's seeing now was more beautiful that Jibeom couldn't take his eyes off of him. He was wearing a white inner shirt and long plaid coat. His long hair neatly tied to a half ponytail. 

"Thanks for coming," he beamed. "I honestly thought you won't show up." 

Jibeom sat across Jaehyun and clasped his hands on the table. Every single movement and the slightest change of expressions, Jibeom didn't want to miss a thing. He studied Jaehyun carefully. He ordered square toast and vanilla latte; his favorite. 

"Want some?" asked Jaehyun shyly. "U-Uhmm I should've gotten you one..." 

"No," Jibeom was quick to respond. "I'm good. So... Why do you want to meet?" 

Jaehyun looked hesitant the way he slightly bit his lower lip and drank his latte before speaking up. "Yesterday... You... You hugged me..." Jaehyun tapped his fingers on the table; the old Jaehyun's habit when he's nervous. "I have a lot of questions in my mind too and to be honest when I saw you yesterday... It felt strange... As if I know you... Feeling of familiarity was there but I can't remember you." 

Jibeom locked his gaze to the puzzled man. He urged him to continue by nodding softly. 

"You mistook me for someone else... Do I look like him?" Jaehyun's eyes widened and Jibeom was sure those eyes looked hopeful, searching for answers just like him. But he couldn't let this man know about Jaehyun, his best friend. The situation was very odd and Jibeom never imagined this to occur in his lifetime. He knew Jaehyun was a weird boy and he believed in magic but Jibeom doubted it. His rational thinking was telling him the man in front of him was a fraud but for what reason? At the same time, his inner soul was silently screaming for Jaehyun, that he was Jaehyun the boy he longed to see.

"Yeah... But it was a long time ago and I can't really remember the Jaehyun I knew. But now that I had a closer look at you, you looked different," Jibeom swallowed as he lied. 

There's a glint of disappointment in the nurse's eyes but he managed to smile. "Ah... I'm sorry I was just... maybe a bit desperate to get answers. But thank you, really thanks for sparing a good minute to meet me." 

"Sure. Mmm... I can't be of any help, sorry." 

Silence ensued as they got awkward with each other. Jaehyun stared at his food with uneasiness. Jibeom somehow found it cute- really cute. The more he observed him, the more he felt guilty towards the man and himself. What if the old Jaehyun was right and Jibeom even believed once that wishes upon the stars do come true. "I want to be reborn as Bong Jaehyun in this same lifeline and find you again." What if Jaehyun found him again this time? He chuckled before he could stop himself. 

"So... Are you just gonna go home after this?" 

"Y-yes... Why?" 

For once, Jibeom didn't want to think. This guy in front of him, Jaehyun or not, he's gentle and kind- someone Jibeom would like to hang out with. An act of sudden courage flickered inside him.

"Do you want to hang out? Just around the city." 

Jaehyun smiled pursing his lips into a thin line after he froze upon Jibeom's sudden invitation. 

-

Jibeom needed not to ponder. He needed not to think twice as it came naturally to him. This new Bong Jaehyun was definitely an exact copy of his Bong Jaehyun. He's soft, said weird things, clumsy and funny without even trying. The same crinkled nose when he laughed, same small premolars showing when he opened his mouth and all same habits from biting his index finger when thinking and squinting his eyes when suspicious. 

It has been so long when Jibeom felt so happy to be with someone. The more he spent time staring at Jaehyun's face, the more he's becoming like the real Jaehyun. He wished he could show a picture of him but there's none. Everything had gone like magic and replaced with a living Jaehyun. Jibeom slowly forgot his mission to find the reason behind everything and spent an enjoyable time with Jaehyun. 

Only after two months of hanging out, Jibeom poured out his long deep secret and professed his love for Jaehyun. The other man felt the same way and so they agreed to be in a relationship. It was Jibeom's first relationship in his entire 28 years of living and felt great. 

He moved out of his parents' house and decided to cohabit with Jaehyun after purchasing an apartment unit. Jaehyun quitted his job as a nurse and worked online while Jibeom continued to teach. Time felt like in a rush for both of them.

"Donghyun-ah, have you contacted Joochan?" asked Jibeom to Donghyun one afternoon. The boy was tidying his desk and Jibeom was getting ready to go home. 

Donghyun shook his head lifelessly. "I talked to his parents and they told me Joochan is still sick." 

"Poor boy," Jibeom tapped Donghyun's back. "Cheer up! Joochan's not here to cheer you up so you take care of yourself. Also, stop fighting with him if you're worried like that."

Donghyun didn't retort just like usual. He only kept his silence. Jibeom heaved a sigh. "Alright. I'll visit Joochan soon and check up on him, 'kay?" 

Donghyun smiled this time. Jibeom knew too well the feeling of not seeing someone you like because they're out of reach. He understood Donghyun and these adorable friends never failed to remind him of Jaehyun and him in their early days. 

Jibeom decided to visit the bakery Jaehyun liked and bought his favorite. The lady remembered Jibeom and they talked about how he lined up for the same bread almost every day. Jibeom took the chance to ask about Jaehyun but no one remembered him. Jaehyun must have come back to life in exchange for his past memories. The thought of it succeeded to tear Jibeom's heart every time but it felt different now that he had Jaehyun. 

"I'm home," Jibeom greeted Jaehyun who was comfortably lying on the couch, reading a book. 

His boyfriend looked at him and protruded his lips for a kiss. Jibeom gladly dragged his feet near the man and dipped down for a kiss before dropping his entire body to Jaehyun. The latter moved backward giving Jibeom space and shifted to hug the teacher. They stayed hugging each other for a long time. 

"Jibeom-ah..."

"Hmm?"

Jaehyun started combing Jibeom's hair with his fingers, "You know, while I was in the observatory, I feel like I've been working there for a long long time. Before I met you, I felt lonely and deep in my heart, there was longingness I couldn't explain. My heart hurts suddenly, like crazy hurts..." 

Jibeom looked at Jaehyun with soft eyes. Jaehyun cupped his boyfriend's face and moved it closer to his, "I deeply wish for the stars to find what this heart was looking for and that night of meteor shower, you hugged me and took all the pain away like magic. You always look so familiar that every day is like a deja vu. I started questioning my past life..." 

Jaehyun took Jibeom's hand, "This hand, the warmth they gave me is something I longed for years. Jibeom, I'm afraid that one day... One day-"

Jibeom shut him with a quick peck on his lips. "You tend to say stupid things and I hated you for that. So keep that mouth of yours shut and stop worrying about things in the past." 

Jaehyun relaxed and there's a small smile hung his lips. "About the Jaehyun you mentioned before... Where is he?"

Jibeom froze at the question. He stood from the lying position and moved to Jaehyun's head and placed it on his lap so the man was pillowing him. Jibeom comfortably leaned at the back of the couch while caressing Jaehyun's temple with his thumb. 

"He... He died ten years ago. He was my best friend..." he looked down at his lover while the latter eyed him sympathetically. "I thought he was you when I first you but it would be impossible right?"

Jaehyun nodded. He slowly got up in a sitting position and leaned closer to Jibeom. "That was sad. You're right, babe. I am not him because I won't ever leave you," he rubbed the tip of his nose to JIbeom's round ones, "I love you so much..."

This was the first time he heard Jaehyun said the words "I love you" and instead of feeling loved and happy, Jibeom's heart hurt. He wasn't able to complete his sentence in the past. Was he going to say "i love you" back then too? 

"I love you more..." he kissed Jaehyun's forehead and embraced him as if there's no tomorrow. 

-

Never a day that passed by where Jibeom was at ease. The fact that he had yet figured out Jaehyun's real identity and falling in love with him albeit the odd situation, scared him. Day by day, his love for Jaehyun grew stronger. What if one day, Jaehyun will leave him again? He would not want to experience the same pain twice. But there's always time for everything and answers will knock the least you expected it. 

5 months have passed and Jibeom got a call from Joochan's parents aking him to visit the student. Jibeom tagged Donghyun along because he knew the boy missed his best friend. Apparently, Joochan got sick of an unidentified reason. Each day he got weaker without knowing why. They admitted him to the hospital but later went back home per Joochan's request. 

"I am really sorry for asking you to come, Teacher Kim. My son has been asking for you..." said Joochan's mother who welcomed them at the door. Joochan's home sent an odd feeling to Jibeom and he just wanted to go home and see Jaehyun. He felt sorry for Joochan but Jibeom wasn't feeling well.

"It's alright. I've been wanting to see him too," Jibeom tried his best to smile.

The mother led them to Joochan's room. She asked them to go ahead as she will continue to cook dinner. Jibeom and Donghyun saw Joochan lying on the bed. He opened his eyes when he heard Donghyun called him. 

He's not Hong Joochan for nothing so he still smiled as if he's okay. Donghyun forced himself not to cry. "Hey... How are you feeling?" his voice trailed off.

"Tired but I'm okay. How about you?" Joochan stared at Donghyun's hand holding his hand tightly. He had never seen Donghyun scared and on the verge of crying. Joochan was touched. 

"What's happening to you, Hong? You told me you'll come back to school but you didn't" 

Joochan put his free hand on top of Donghyun's, "Sorry." 

Jibeom watched them silently. the 10-year-old memory replayed in his head. He badly wished nothing was wrong with Joochan. For Donghyun to experience such a heart-wrenching moment was Jibeom's fear. 

"Teacher Kim..." Joochan called him. 

"Hm?"

The boy gestured him to get closer so Donghyun scooted a little to the side for JIbeom to sit. 

"You need to know something, Teacher Kim." Joochan's weak eyes stared at the teacher and Jibeom couldn't stop himself from getting anxious. 

"What is it? Tell me." 

"It's about Nurse Bong...."

Jibeom gripped the side of the couch he was sitting, "What about him?" Jibeom forced a smile as he leaned closer to Joochan to get a good hearing because the boy's voice was hoarse and low. 

"I haven't told anyone about this because I don't know who he was. For the past ten years, he's been whispering to me, asking to take over my body because he needs to come to life. He kept bugging me until I gave in. I have to help him get back to you. A meteorite that falls once in 10 years granting wishes for those hearts, a soul will come back to life at the expense of someone else's life. Jaehyun, your best friend, is the lost soul and he chose me..." 

Jibeom's hand turned clammy and even the well-ventilated room failed to stop his sweat from trickling down the side of his face. Donghyun's eyes fill with horror as well. 

"He hasn't realized it yet that he's been living an empty life because all that matters to him is you, his love and longingness for you remains even in the other world and that strong desire to be with you again was his weapon to come back to life. The star granted his wish..." a tear rolled down Joochan's cheek. "I was about to hold on for a year just so he could spend time with you but Teacher Kim, if Jaehyun continues to live in this world, he will eventually take my life. And there's not much time left for me too... I'm sorry Teacher Kim... I am so sorry but Jaehyun has to go back to where he belongs..." 

The information was too much for Jibeom. Is he going to lose him again? He is definitely going to lose him again. Jibeom ran his fingers through his hair and tried to steady his heart banging his ribcage. He lost all the words he was muted.

He heard Donghyun called him so he sat back straight and strained his eyes to stop the tears from falling. "I'm sorry," Jibeom breathed out. He wasn't sure what to say, what to feel. He saw how Donghyun's shoulders trembled and he was reminded of his young self when he's about to lose Jaehyun. Losing someone you really love hurts like hell. 

"Teacher Kim, please... Save Joochan..." 

-

Loving someone is a blessing but never a curse. If Jaehyun continues living while using up other's life, that's the time when it turns a curse. Jaehyun is beautiful and he will always remain the angel he is. 

Jibeom tapped his fingers on the table as he waited for Jaehyun. He rented the entire rooftop of one of Jaehyun's famous restaurants. He decorated it prettily and set up a table for two. Rose petals are scattered on the floor and hundreds of scented candles lit up the entire rooftop. 

After a long 5 minutes- which Jibeom thought the longest 5 minutes of his life, Jaehyun arrived wearing the same outfit the first time they met at the observatory. 

"I'm sorry, did you wait long?" Jaehyun went straight to Jibeom and hugged the man. 

Jibeom hugged him back, carefully placing his chin to his lover's shoulder. "I've waited too long, Jaehyun-ah..." 

Jaehyun chuckled, "But it's only 5 minutes. You talked as if I let you wait for years." 

Jibeom circled his arms around Jaehyun's waist and pulled him closer to him. He stared at the pretty face before him then closed the gap in between. He kissed Jaehyun. Slowly nibbling the soft lips while tears streamed down his face. Jaehyun felt him quiver so the nurse pulled away and was surprised to see Jibeom crying. 

"Why... Why are you crying? Is something wrong?" Jaehyun asked worriedly. 

Jibeom nodded his head like a child to his mom, as if telling her that someone bullied him at school. Jibeom looked like a poor kid. 

"What's wrong? Tell me..." 

"Jaehyun-ah..." Jibeom sniffed, "Thank you for keeping your promises, for staying by my side all these years and for loving me for a long long time." 

"Jibeom, what are you saying? I don't understand." Jaehyun's eyes brimmed with tears too.

"I want you to know that I loved you and will always love you, only you. I love you as much as you love me. You've brought me to Utopia when you said 'I love you' for the first time. I've been living in Utopia for 5 months with you. You did things with me like live together, eat together every day, play, and do all things together just like you promised. We... We found our own star in each other because you are my star, while I am yours. You keep your promises until the end." 

"Jibeom-ah..." 

Jibeom was crying so much and Jaehyun was the same. Jibeom thought it was so unfair to let him meet Jaehyun again and fall in love with him to the deepest of his soul and it hurt him to send him off again. How can someone say goodbye to the person they love for such a long time? 

"Jaehyun, my shining star, thank you for coming back, but baby I need to let you g-go..." Jibeom broke down as he finished his sentence. 

"Jibeom, what are you saying? P-please I-I d-don't understand you... Where will you send me? Where should I go... I want to be with you..." Jaehyun looked like he's breaking and what's sadder was that he didn't have a clue that his strong love for his once best friend, almost took someone's life and after spending another chance to be with the love of his life, it's time to go home. 

"Jaehyun-ah, listen to me... 10 years ago, you were my best friend, my one and only star. You are the same Jaehyun. We were so happy until the day you left this world and left me unprepared. You promised and wished the star to be born again the reason why you don't have concrete memories of your past. Only I remember you and your memories from other people closed to you had been erased the moment you came back to life. It's because you loved me too much but this isn't your world anymore..." 

Jaehyun was crying so hard and as the stars appear in the dark sky, Jaehyun slowly recovered his memories. He remembered the first time he saw Jibeom when they were 8 years old. He remembered their first hug and the first time he realized he loved his best friend until the day he had to say goodbye. 

Jaehyun lunged forward and hugged Jibeom tight, "Jibeom, oh my god..." 

A hug for the last time, inhaling each other's scent and just like 10 years ago, they need to say goodbye the second time around. 

"Jibeom, I love you so much. Oh my god..." 

Jibeom swore he never prepared himself for any of these. Jaehyun would not want to know that he's taking someone's life so Jibeom kept it a secret. Maybe they were always bound to get separated in the end. It was sad but the short time they spent together was gold. 

Jibeom wiped Jaehyun's tears and swiped the stray hair away from his face. Jaehyun's eyes were glistening and his nose's flushed pink. Jibeom rested his forehead against his lover's, closed their eyes and whispered, 

"Close your eyes and count to three,  
Whisper thy wish and let it be  
Reach the heavens up above  
Fill your heart with the deepest love...

My love, my star Jaehyun...

Wherever you are, I pray for your happiness.

We waited for years, we can wait again.

I love you, babe..." 

It really was magic. The moment Jibeom opened his eyes, he woke up in his room and his heart ached like he's being stabbed thousands of times. He found the picture frame on his bed where he's lying and when he flipped it, he finally found Jaehyun in the picture, smiling. And instead of the old picture where they were holding their jerseys, it was replaced with a lovely picture of them in their shared apartment. 

The thought of not seeing Jaehyun for a long time was painful but Jibeom was sure he's always around him. Instead of wishing, he prayed to the heavens that in the next life, it will be their time to love each other, be in each other's arms for a long time. 

end. 

**Author's Note:**

> i miss bongbeom but i always end up hurting them. im sorry T^T


End file.
